Learning to Love it All!
What do I do with cAnswer?
The answers I received from my inner Spirit were not about diet or getting more rest. Nothing was said about things to avoid or release. The message was “Love it all! Learn to love everything!”
I was directed to love my newly scarred body, my weakness and fatigue and to love the pain. Indeed my newborn limitations needed to be loved, not tolerated, or put up with, certainty not suffered through... but LOVED. I had to love the entire healing process!
April 19th, 2012 I had a total hysterectomy. All cAnswer was removed! 3 days after my release I was taken by helicopter back into surgery as an intestine have been nicked, or had weakened. I was sepsis. I almost died.
In this video, filmed in 2016 between cAnswer Dance #2 and #3, tears, fears, laughter and song are shared tenderly between friends.
Today in my morning meditation I was asked “Who are you? What do you want? What is your purpose? How will you make a difference? How will you serve?”
The answers flowed from my tears.
I am love. I want to be a beacon of light for others to find that love. My purpose is to be love. I make a difference by cultivating deeper and expressing love where I am lead. I serve by leading with love in all I do, say, think and believe.
6 years later the message has gotten clearer. “Learning to Love it All” pays such grand dividends, allowing me to understand at a deeper and deeper level the healing powers of the energy of love!
Have you been touched by cAnswer? Is someone you love suffering.
My book might help! Holy Shift! Everything’s a Gift! is glorious pictorial, an autobiographical, humorous, poignant story of listening and lessons learned, songs sung and happy healings. You will love this book!
Now available on Kindle- Holy Shift! is FILLED with links to my music, songs of hope, healing and having fun!
Get yours today!!
“What can I DO from this helpless state?” I asked as I recovered from the 3rd surgery in as many months and awaited Chemo Therapy for the first time. It is amazing what answers come when I listen.
In this video, filmed in 2016 between cAnswer Dance #2 and #3,
I share what I heard from my inner self, my Spirit, God, when I asked for guidance.
Today, as this Blog is released, I am embarking on another journey. I was ready to accept my fate when the cAnswer came back a fourth time! In November I started giving things away and thinking about how to spend my last few months! Then around Christmas, my oncologist told me about Precision Genomics, a new branch of Simon Cancer Center. A new advanced treatment had good results! Merry Christmas to ME!
IU Medical still had my ovaries from 2012. They studied their pathology ook a bunch of blood and discovered a single mutated gene that caused the cAnswer in the first place. THAT mutation can be fixed with a new drug! Lynnparza - a PARP inhibitor.
Targeted Chemo/Dreamo! Makes the cAnswer Cells go through natural cell death or Apoptosis! I LOVE that word!!
No hair loss!! No side effects! (Though there are MANY possible side effects with this and all drugs, I didn’t sign up for any and 3 weeks into it now I can safely say I feel GOOD!!)
Bring on the lasting healing!!
This is part of a series of interviews filmed in 2016 before my third dance with cAnswer
When this interview was filmed, I was looking forward to another 18 weeks of chemo/dreamo treatments. I had wrapped my arms around my possible death from cAnswer as I had wrapped my arms around the treatment - as best I could with love, joy and a sense of humor. I've always known that positive things can come out of seemingly negative ones especially when we look for such outcomes. In some schools of thought, I've been taught to actually embrace if not look forward to seemingly negative situations or contractions- as they always lead to an expansion, a spiritual growing and knowing when allowed.
One such expansion was releasing the notion that I had to share my music by doing concerts and selling cds. When I recognized that all I had to do was post a song on Facebook from Youtube or Reverbnation I was on FIRE! Being able to share so freely inspired me to record more songs on the back burner and bring them to boil! I love seeing who listens, comments and likes my daily song shares!
Another expansion is my involvement and my "inLovement" with the Threshold Choir. This Divine connection would never have happened with my touring the country. I have community. I get to heal at home. Thanks to the internet, I can still minister, teach and share all over the world!
Expanding Standing Still! Imagine!
When I was eight years old my family went camping. I took along my first two–wheeler, a bike I loved. I felt independent and grown up when I rode it.
That passage was written in early 2013. Five years later it is even more profoundly true! I mean it's freaky to contemplate where I would have been and what I would have done had it not been for my friends and family to whom I reached out many, many times. Loving arms, smiling faces and beautiful voices were available when I needed them most BECAUSE I asked!
The lessons for me? We are in this together! None of us has to go it alone! Need assistance? Ask until you get what you need! THEN you have enough to give when someone need YOU!
She was on my mind when I woke up yesterday. Another year ending and beginning without Mom. “Close” does not aptly describe our relationship so when she passed in April of 2015 my whole world started to spin. It was as if my center of gravity was outside of me. Nothing made sense and everything made sense all at once. The pain I felt was equal to the Love we shared so freely throughout my life. She prepared me for this. She had no idea that, just by the way she showed up as Love, Mom prepared me for living a life without her.
How does one prepare others to live beyond them? Love. Deep, demonstrative, enthusiastic, fully supportive LOVE. I know what it feels like to be loved like that, thanks to Mom. So when my yesterday began with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, I knew she had been with me. Let me explain. The last two holidays since her transition have been nothing short of depressing. My downward spiral began at Thanksgiving. Daddy’s crossing in 2016 made the emptiness even more vast.
This year I was determined to find a way to stay at least peaceful if not content. I surrounded myself with friends and music. I went Christmas caroling 9 times with my favorite peeps! I went through our home and rediscovered treasures once loved that I got to pass on to very grateful recipients. Going through some books I swear it was Mom who directed me on which to give and to whom! One of my newest friends mentioned a dream of getting an auto harp for herself for Christmas. Mom came to mind immediately and I understood I was to give the one I inherited from her to my new friend! The holidays were filled to the brim with Love, Song and Sharing; very little was missing!
The realization that overtook me in the wee hours of the morning was that I had recreated for myself a cocoon of loving friendship, a community of song that filled just about every space left empty by Mommy when she left her body. I was indeed deeply loved, held in high esteem, blessed and nurtured. I thought about all my beloveds here in Bloomington and across the country who love me. I am surrounded by love. Always.
That’s how my New Year began! Every Tuesday, friends gather now to sing with me and string beads for meditation and relaxation. I was organizing beads and singing loudly. I must’ve been in the zone because there was a knock at the door and in walked Mommy! It was as real as it could be. I stood there, stunned and immediately started to cry as we embraced, hugged and kissed and kissed and hugged. She loved to take my face in her warm hands and plant kisses in every kissable spot. We spent what felt like 15 minutes in love. It was only a few seconds.
When she had gone, I had to share! I told the people who had come to sing and string about who had just shown up to surprise me. I mean, her face was so vivid! That expression of “Oh boy! I really surprised you good!” Was all over her face! I can hardly imagine what I must’ve looked like seeing her! This was only the second time since her passing that I've seen her this clearly.
The first/last time was in June when her kitty, Sugar, who I inherited, was dying. Mom's excited expression came through when we were on our way to the vet. She was going to be with Sugar again and was thrilled! I heard myself say out loud, “Curb your enthusiasm Mother! I’m not too happy about this!” But then I realized, Holy Shift! I was talking to my mom!! How could I grieve losing Sugar??
If the first two days of 2018 are any indication of how rest of the year will flow, bring it on!! I’m ready! And Thank you Mommy! I Love You!
It was a thrill to receive your book in the mail (yes, several months ago). Thank you)! You are truly an inspiration!
I have now donated the book to the library of Bay Area Cancer Connections (BCC) (bcconnections.org), a fabulous organization in Palo Alto, California, devoted to providing information and support to people dealing with breast or ovarian cancer. I was a BCC client nearly 20 years ago, and now I've been a volunteer there for 17 years.
Thank you for the book, for being you, and for your light and love
P.S. Here's your book listed in our library!
Holy Shift! Everything's a Gift | bayareacancer library | TinyCat
My last chemo treatment was March 20. Six months have passed and I am just now starting to feel “normal.“ cAnswer (my spelling of “cancer”) or any experience of this magnitude changes our lives forever and there are as many gifts to be treasured as there are traumas to be forgiven.
One enormous gift was the community of friends who stepped up to sing with and to me for 18 weeks in a row during every 2-3 hour Chemo/Dreamo treatment. I requested a private room so we had room for 4-6 people. It was so -- incredible is not an adequate adjective -- “Life Affirming” is more befitting. For those hours once a week we basked in the Healing music created for this purpose.
I miss Chemo/Dreamo! NOT the chemicals mind you but the 2-3 hours of concentrated singing and deep listening. I miss this music! So I’ve decided to recreate the weekly healing experience because it's something that benefits ALL of us -- singing for our own health and healing!
Imagine singing this heart-opening music in a circle with music being played. Sing when you want to. Listen when you want to. Lie in the center of the circle and Receive when you want to. String beads when you want to!
String & Sing!
Stringing strands of beautiful beads is a new exciting addition. Since I won’t be lying in the middle receiving chemo and song myself, I thought how wonderful it would be to keep my hands busy and sing into whatever I was creating. I remembered a gift given to me by Doe Hart, a dear friend, during my first dance with cancer. A 3-foot strand of beautiful beads that she strung during prayer and meditation about me and for me! What a wonderful gift! I have tons of old beads from my grandmother, my great aunt and many other treasured resources! I invite people to bring beads themselves if they have some to share. We will create Strands of Song to keep or to share with those in need. Imagine! All that healing music infused in those beads put together with our loving hands. What wonderful vibration we can share so many times!
My community in Bloomington will benefit locally. I do intend to do some live Facebook video events during these sessions in the not-too-distant future. All the music we will be singing is on my new CD Series, Chants to Heal, Chants to Laugh and Love and Chants to Change. Chants to Laugh and Love music is up-tempo, fun, high energy songs about healing. The songs from Chants to Change are entirely meditational.
Avalon Healing and Wellness Center
11.11 a.m - 1:11 p.m
1800 W 17th St.
Every Tuesday we will meet and sing and string! I’m so excited to share this in such a beautiful space just at the end of 17th street after the roundabout. We will be starting this practice on November 7th. That’s 11/7 at 11:11! Ooooh! What fun numbers! Sing with you then!!
Open to the Public. Free-will Donations gratefully accepted.
The Threshold Choir Gathering of the mid-Atlantic states was held in Pittsburgh this past weekend. I attended as a choir member and teacher and gave my vocal workshop to an amazing number of women in a beautiful setting. My passion for fun, frolic, laughter and song bubbled over as we hissed, "motorboated" and yawned together in song.
As I demonstrated how to breathe and sing from the core, I saw the proverbial light bulbs going on all over the room! Long time students of Voice and those with no training at all understood at a physical level why their voices did not sound or feel the way they wanted them to consistently. In just a few exercises, the connection between the waistline, the breath and tone production was embodied by every body! A warmth and a fullness arose from each voice as we added more breath and opened our throats. The shift of sound was tangible! We sang softer yet stronger. We blended better instantly! Our awareness increased as we breathed together ever more deeply.
There were plenty of questions answered and “Ah ha” moments as we practiced. Singing from my center puts me into my body and out of my mind. What a lovely place from which to sing! It truly requires of me NOT to think about singing but to experience singing. And while we “expanded time”, (three hours of Sing for your Soul material delivered in an hour and a half) some participants were still a little befuddled. But because they did experience some success and acquired some understanding, they followed up with more of my training for later! I am more and more convinced that Sing For Your Soul is my purpose on the planet - to remind everybody how good it feels to sing and to be sung to - to free every voice to be able to sing to our loved ones in crisis and in celebration.
Singing shifts everything!
I was just interviewed by Sandra Champlain on "We Don't Die" Radio Show!
Having been through chemo three times now, we discussed my feelings of my own death and the afterlife which I have come face-to-face with as part of my healing.
We explore the power of music to transform our process of living as well as healing and the chemotherapy support program that I'll be introducing soon!
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the subject. Please leave me a comment and let me know how YOU feel about Life beyond Death. It will be a GREAT conversation!
New Thought Advocate and well-known musician and workshop facilitator, Lauren Lane Powell, discovered she had Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer in the prime of her life. She offers wisdom gained from a lifetime of learning to live in love.
"We met on www.blogtalkradio.com/ ggmradio, on my show Namaste Nutrition. Lauren,you are such a wonderful inspiration, and to this day remain one of my favorite radio guests. Your magic, ethereal beauty, and journey was such an inspiration to me and to my audience."
-- Host of radio show “Namaste Nutrition”
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